Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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