I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
