i barfeds in our rink
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
