Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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