I CAN MOONWALK!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
