My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
