his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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