You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
