Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
