btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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