Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize