yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
