What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize