The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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