SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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