wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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