i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
