So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
