so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
