Duck Duck Cougar?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
