Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
