Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
