Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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