There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
