He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
