birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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