I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
