I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
