Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
