I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
