***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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