There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
