i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
