come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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