btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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