This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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