ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
