What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
