all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
