I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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