"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
