apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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