Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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