I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
