Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
