I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
