The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
