Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
