So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
