That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My ATM looks so different sober.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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