you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
