Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
