it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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