my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
