I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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