4 words: hood of his car
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
