she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
