Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
