hell yes lets make some ravioli
So many bounce houses so little time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
