I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
