There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
