sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
