Pappa wants mamma naked
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
