So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
