i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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